Horror Villains I think I Could Beat and Why
The Horror genre has been a staple in cinema and by now we all know and have seen the classics. Personally, during every horror movie I watch there’s always one question on my mind: “Would I be able to survive this?”
As someone who loves horror, I have put some serious thought into whether horror villains are truly unbeatable or whether their victims just lack survival instincts. Of course it’s easier to be an audience member than the one in the movie but it is so incredibly frustrating to watch characters die avoidable deaths, it’s that much scarier if they did everything right and it still wasn’t enough.
After some careful consideration, here are horror villains I think I could beat and why:
Pictured is our Talking Chucky figure
I would argue that this is the most obvious one considering he’s a doll. I understand it’s possessed by a serial killer but it’s still bound to the body of a doll and being a normal sized human being you have a huge advantage, just toe punt him. Sure he has the strength of a human, but he’s small and you could just pick him up and put him in a cement box or melt him. At the end of the day, he’s just a serial killer with a doll body and has no magical powers or anything. If you have a chance against a normal human being, you have a chance against Chucky. Once you get over the initial shock of a doll attacking you there isn’t much else you’re going to be surprised by, I think it’d be a pretty straightforward fight.
2. Pennywise
Pictured is our Super7 bloody Pennywise action figure
If you were a child Pennywise would be absolutely terrifying to face as you haven’t quite learned emotional regulation and it’d be paralyzing to see your worst fear materialized in front of you. However, as an adult this should be no big deal. When you’re an adult, typically your worst fears aren’t something concrete (i.e. someone in your life dying, losing your job, etc.) and for those fears that are, you should be able to use logic to think your way out of it. For me, Pennywise would likely appear as a great white shark. Would I be terrified initially, yes. But, logically I know that sharks can’t be on land and I just watched a clown transform into one so obviously what’s in front of me isn’t real. Pennywise relies on you just being paralyzed by fear but I’ll stand by the fact that you should be able to think yourself out of it and thereby take his power away.
3. Leatherface
Pictured is our Mezco Leatherface figure
This one is more based on vibes but as someone who has a background in Psychology I really think I could find a way to get through to him. He’s depicted as being mentally challenged but the movies humanize him by showing his abuse, his initial fear of intruders, and him expressing love which shows his many layers. If I could fight him off for long enough while I talk to him I think I could turn his life around for an hour each week.
Pictured is our Neca Halloween Michael Myers action figure
He’s just a normal dude so there isn’t too much to watch out for (also seems to be kinda slow). If I just wanted to escape him I’d probably just drive to another city. If I want to beat him I’d probably need to use the element of surprise and hope I have enough strength to take him on. If I was willing to self-sacrifice, a grenade or bomb could be a good option.
5. Hannibal
Pictured is our Funko Pop! The Silence of the Lambs Hannibal
I think if I just casually let it slip that I don’t have a lot of meat on me and that I have a very poor diet and a lot of health conditions, he probably wouldn’t really want to eat me and would be less compelled to kill me.
What do you think?